PreMDpilot

I don't really know anymore. I'm back on the night shift at my job and the work is basically non-existant right now. I have been working at this job for 6 months now (the longest I've ever held a job) and I'm starting to get itchy feet. I was reading over some of my old blog entries and I feel like I have stalled here. I feel like I'm in a rut. I hang out with a lot of my old friends, who I love more than anything, but I'm feeling the urge to meet new people again. I feel like I need to go somewhere else and explore.

I guess the way I describe it is that I can't make interesting blog entries anymore. My life has turned into a routine where I go to work, go home, eat, play video games, excercise, go back to work, eat...so on. I don't have any interesting adventures anymore. I feel like I should be more excited about applying to medical school because the application process has started in earnest now, but I'm not. I never really felt this way while I was in school, because I was constantly doing new things. Every year was going to be different. I guess that's part of the reason I want to go back to school.

It's tough looking back at old blog entries and realizing that your life is not as fun as it once used to be. That you don't have anything interesting to say to people who read your blog. I want routine in my life, but later...right now I need action and adventure, and I think I will for the forseeable future.

Prompted by a question from difficult patient, I guess it's time for an update on my medical school progress. Medical school application is a year-long process that starts June 1st. It actually starts way before that with MCAT testing, volunteering and taking the right courses, but the actual application gets submitted in June. There is an online system called AMCAS that basically takes all your personal information, your grades, your accomplishments, your test scores, and an essay and distills them all down to this little 4 page printout of a medical hopeful. That is sent to the admissions comittee of each school that you select and they evalute your application and send you a secondary application. This is a series of essays that ge submitted along with letters of reccomendation. They take a look at this and if they still like you, then they invite you for an interview. The interview makes sure you are a normal person who can interact with people normally, and if they still like you, then you are receive an admission letter sometime in the Spring. You don't enroll in school until the fall.

It is a long, grueling application, and the process following admission is even longer and more grueling, but the worthwhile things in life are never easy. I have submitted my AMCAS application and I'm waiting for secondaries. This is only the beginning.

I've had some very weird dreams lately. I think it's because we recently moved into a new place and I am still adjusting. I dreamed that I was in San Francisco and swimming out in the bay. Now I've been to San Francisco and I know that no one swims in the bay, but apparently my subconscious mind doesn't, because there I was. Well, I was out there swimming around and I see this huge wall of water rear up out of the ocean and head toward the shore. This thing was huge, it must've been at least 200 ft tall and I was right in it's path. Well, fortunately for me I am apparently able to dive under tsunami size waves just like for normal size waves on the beach and I dove under and watched the wave hit the shore.

The other dream last night was of large waves again, but this time people were surfing them. It was really weird too because the way people were surfing them was odd. The waves never crested and people would get way out in front of the waves and have to slow down to let the waves catch up. I was never out there surfing, just watching. These are very odd dreams considering that I hardly ever dream. I wonder what they mean?

The series of dreams have also lead me to question what my conscious dreams are. My med school friend has a great quote, "You don't trade dreams." My dream is to somehow combine my love of flying with my passion for biological science and do something really meaningful. I can't trade one for the other, because I dream of them both.